New Year, New Nonsense

Oh, hello!

Let's all take a moment to relish in the fact that I am now embarking on my fourth year of ranting on this little piece of the blogosphere. From small beginnings involving way too much mayonnaise, a CAT-astrophe of epic proportions and treadmills, we've blossomed into lame pick-up lines, apartment lock-ins and my inability to be photographed alone.

Ah, sweet memories.

Moving on to a new year. Here are my 13 goals for 2013:

1. Convince one of my friends to buy a hedgehog. I would buy one myself, but I'm already in charge of one life, and that's about all I can handle at the moment. Therefore, if you are easily impressionable, please click here to see pictures of Buckley the hedgehog going shopping for a bed. And now you want a hedgehog, right? Please. Make my dreams (and yours) come true.

Want. Need. MUST HAVE. The mini bed and the hedgehog.

2. Go on the greatest vacation ever to Australia. Eat Pancakes on the Rocks. Swim in the ocean. Avoid being eaten by a shark. Learn to surf. Jump out of a plane. Etc. Etc. Etc.
2a. (Optional but preferable) Find an Australian husband.

Guess who will be in this exact spot in exactly one month? This girl.

Pancakes on the Rocks, get in my belly. If I can't have an Aussie husband, I'll settle for this.

3. Finish reading The Three Musketeers. Christmas 2011 I decided to be cultural (and cheap) and downloaded this literary classic for free on my Kindle. Since then, I've read 6 percent of the book. Off to a bit of a slow start on my cultural conquest, but 2013 is my year!

4. Work out more. This is never going to happen, but I feel like I should include it because no list of resolutions is complete without workout fallacies. Know what will be happening?

This will be happening.

This will be happening.

And this will be happening.

5. Enter Roxie in a dachshund dash. This was supposed to happen in 2012, but various wedding festivities interfered. Therefore, it WILL happen in 2013. Even if I have to road trip to the middle of nowhere for some ridiculous festival, it will happen. And Roxie will WIN.

On your mark ... get set ... DACHSHUND DASH!

6. Wear this skirt without incident. I didn't even dare wear it in 2012, but in 2013 I'm hoping to overcome my fear.

Remember that one time my skirt blew up in my face and I flashed a group of Asian tourists?

7. Cook more. My signature dish of spaghetti, sauce from a bottle and frozen meatballs doesn't count. Waffles and Star Wars pancakes don't either. (But they are awesome, and I am a master at making both.)

Yes, I made these. How badly do you want to be my friend right now?

8. Travel to see friends in St. Louis, San Francisco or D.C. Preferably all of the above.

9. Go to a Mumford and Sons concert and spend a solid hour (or more, if the band decides to croon an especially long set) swooning. I don't care that he's a dirty hippie, Marcus Mumford is brilliant and we are meant to be.

10. Overcome my fear of birds. HA. Right. Never happening. LOOK AT THEM. They can smell fear, you know.

No. Thank you.

Make. It. Stop.

11. Rediscover my childhood sass. Oh wait, that's right. I never lost it.

 

12. When in doubt, Dance it out. If you, like me, go to a lot of weddings stag, this is not just a new years resolution. Oh no. It is a way of life. As one of my favorite quotes says, "Dance now, think later. It's the natural order." Preach on! Dance on!

13. Find myself in a multitude of crazy situations so I can share my stories with you, my faithful readers. (Which I'm pretty sure just consists of my parents, Sandy H. and Christine. Waving to you four! Hey guys!)

Happy 2013 to YOU!

And when will you be bringing home your hedgehog?