Treadmill Thoughts

I'd like to talk about the gym.

I try to like working out. I really do. But if I'm being completely honest, I loathe the process. The only part of my workout I enjoy is the satisfaction I feel afterward and the ice cream sandwich I reward myself with.

Part of why I think I don't enjoy working out is because I'm so easily distracted. These happenings have recently diverted my attention and thrown off my "in the zone" workout concentration:

  1. A girl was actually snapping along to her rap music while on the elliptical yesterday. Yes, snapping. I was confused. And distracted. And yet, slightly amused. Also, when people sing to themselves at the gym it freaks me out. I have ears. I hear you. All kinds of awkward.
  2. Along the lines of snapping/singing girl, I'd like to introduce "I listen to my music so loudly that everyone else around me can hear my music through their headphones too" dude. I bet he has hearing aids by age 35.
  3. You know that person who is itty bitty but runs on the treadmill like I picture the abominable snowman would? I mean, HOW does such a small person slam down their feet so hard that I can feel/hear the reverberations on the next treadmill? HOW???
  4. Treadmill horse reminds me of the ever-so-annoying squeaky machines. If "I listen to my music so loudly that everyone else around me can hear my music through their headphones too" dude is on an elliptical that squeaks every time his left foot reaches a certain point, I'm DOOMED. Repetitive noises and I don't do well together.
  5. To the person on the machine next to me who is totally out-doing me and making me feel weak and insignificant: I'm trying to creepily eye how many more calories you've burned than me and what resistance your elliptical is set at. You are a beast and I am not. And you're distracting me.
  6. Then there are the people who come try to talk to me while I'm cherry red in the face, sweating bullets, and in need of oxygen. I can't breathe. These conversations never go well. Cell phone convos are equal failures.
  7. Trying to drink water while remaing in motion. I can't do it. The number of times I've spilled half the contents of my water bottle all over my face/body is downright embarrassing. And it always earns me a few awkward glances from the people next to me who are clearly thinking "Is drinking liquids too difficult of a concept for this girl to master?"

Alright, I'm being melodramatic. But do you see my dilemma? The one thing that can keep my focus: "Wavin Flag" by K'naan. I listened to it 4 times during my workout today.

Patti Long and I like to do this dance in the kitchen while we're cooking dinner. True story. Go to the link.  Learn the super sweet moves. Dance your heart out.


  1. bahaha!!! I agree with you on numbers 2, 4, 5 and 7..... I like to pretend I like to workout as well.. usually fades though 2 weeks after I start....
    Love you!!!!

  2. If I weren't paying a trainer for 30 minutes, 3X a week, I don't think I'd make it back to the gym.
    #8: The 50-year old who jogs/runs on the treadmill every day I'm there and when I look over at his timer it's always past 50 minutes. Damn!