|We're twins. (Fraternal, not identical.)|
|This is the Carrie Bradshaw I want to be.|
|This is the Carrie Bradshaw I actually am. (Except I don't even look cute in tutus.)|
Additionally, both of these characters are fictional. Audiences watch in wonder and say, "Surely that would never happen to anyone in real life." Ladies and gentlemen, you've just described my 23 years on this earth.
Only I can lock myself INSIDE an apartment.
Only I can unintentionally put on a peep show for 40 Asian tourists.
And only I can end up in urgent care after a run-in with a nail polish bottle.
It all starts with open-toed shoes. I don't realize until I'm at work that -- gasp! -- my toe nails are not painted and the whole world can see thanks to my open-toed shoes selection. I realize it's a little silly I'm concerned about such things because I work at a zoo. Nail polish is not a must-have for most zoo employees, but it is for this one. Exposing naked non-painted toes is just a no-no.