Dear radio stations of the world ...



Some of them were cool at first, and some of them were never cool. The main problem is that you continue playing these songs, and no one wants to hear them anymore. (The people that do still want to hear them have awful taste in music, and you should not be encouraging their bad habits.)

Katy Perry -- "Wide Awake"

I'm going to estimate that I've already heard this song approximately 30 times today, and I'll hear it an additional 10 million times before the day is over. I admit that this song is better than  "E.T.," but what song doesn't surpass that weird intergalactic anthem? I just want to listen to "Last Friday Night" and "Teenage Dream" and forget this song ever happened. Is that so much to ask? Also, this music video is trippy and creepy.

B.O.B. -- "Airplanes"

I thought this song was annoying when I first heard it in Australia. My annoyed attitude quickly turned to extreme hatred because my neighbor across the hall listened to this jam on repeat all. Day. Long. We're talking 20 times in a row. I like to exaggerate, but that statistic is not exaggerated. I thought I had escaped "Airplanes" when I returned to the States. Wrong. Not-so-luckily for me, the American radio stations discovered this song months after the Aussies, so I had to go through the the turmoil of this song being overplayed by a new slew of people in a different country. And now, almost three years later, STILL people want to hear this song? Why? WHYYYY?

Cee Lo Green -- "Forget You"

At first it was cheeky, then it was catchy, then it turned down the road of becoming repetitive. And now, I just can't handle it. It's been two years since "Forget You" was released, and I wish I could forget this song. BUT I CAN'T. We all know the real lyrics aren't "forget you" anyway. You're not fooling me, Cee Lo. Whether it's the edited or unedited version, I've had enough. Please get out of my head.

Also, I'd like to take a brief moment to point out that Cee Lo Green is releasing a Christmas album. WITH THE MUPPETS. I'm so confused that I can't even put together coherent thoughts to make fun of this.

Psy -- "Gangham Style"

This YouTube sensation should have stayed where it belongs: on YouTube. That way we could have enjoyed doing Psy's weird horse dance at sporting events and weddings. Instead, radio stations have destroyed this song entirely. What IS this man saying? And what exactly is Gangham Style? Any song that I can't sing along to is a no. BUT ... I can't deny that this video is still confusing, disturbing and absolutely brilliant.

Pink -- Every single song she's ever created

So whiny. So angry. Such bad hair. Someone please make her stop.

Gotye -- "Somebody That I Used To Know"

If you don't know this song, I'm going to assume you've just returned from a year-long lunar expedition. No matter which radio station I'm listening to, I can't get away. Gotye follows me EVERYWHERE. Mr. Gotye, we're all very sorry about your break-up woes. You're right; life is so rough. But please, can we all move on?

The good news is, I'm not tired of this yet. Still awesome.

Nickelback -- Their entire existence as a band

I don't want to hear about their songs. I don't even want to be reminded that these people exist and are allowed to create music. I want Nickelback to go away. I'm getting a headache just thinking about them. In fact, my head is already pounding so much that I can't even force myself to search for a YouTube video to prove their awfulness. A picture will suffice.

I mean honestly. These are real people. And real people listen to their music. What is wrong in the world?!

Lastly, how PERFECT is it that the lead singer of Nickelback is engaged to Avril Lavigne? Never before have two people deserved one another more. I wholeheartedly support this union. Avril would be on this list, but the radio stations finally stopped playing "Complicated" last month after having it on repeat for a decade. So there's one win.

Which songs make you want to run headfirst into a wall? I'm sure I've missed some. Please share. Complaining is much more fun in groups.

1 comment:

  1. Ditto on Gangnam Style and Nickelback... And The Motto because I cannot stand the "word" ehrday sung in a nasal, whiny voice 17 times in a row.