I just wanted to give you all a heads up that I'm most likely about to turn into one of THOSE people. You know, those dog people. The dog obsessed.
I can't predict how serious my dog obsession is going to be, but seeing as how I'm already insanely obsessed with my childhood dog, Ellie, I'm guessing things could get out of control. I mean, if this puppy belonged to you wouldn't YOU be obsessed? Of course you would.
1. I promise to refrain from using Roxie as a dress up doll ... too much. Let's be honest, this breed just screams "let's play dress up!" Who am I to deny my sweet puppy? But I will do my best not to go overboard. Promise.
2. I promise to enter Roxie in as many dachshund dashes as she can handle during Oktoberfest season. Have you ever seen a dachshund dash? I have. And they're fantastical. Roxie will dominate.
3. I promise NOT to let my Roxie obsession reach the level that I drive around with bumper stickers on my car and/or carry dachshund-themed purses. This is just never acceptable. And that purse will never be attractive unless worn by a three year-old. Because everything is cute on a three year-old.
4. I promise to remind myself that my dog is a dog, not an actual child. BUT, while I have no children this dog is going to be spoiled as every child deserves to be spoiled. The key: Moderation. Moderation. Moderation.
5. I promise to do my best not to raise one of those "yippy" dogs. Just because she's a diva doesn't mean she needs to sound the diva bark. No. I've already read the anti-barking sections in three different puppy books.
Puppy comes home with me tonight at 7 p.m. Stand by for details when I will alternate between:
Praising and loving Roxie for cuddling with me and being precious.
Cursing and disliking Roxie for peeing on my carpet and waking me up at 3 a.m. when it's 2 degrees outside to go to the bathroom.