3.13.2011

TO DO: Learn how to be an adult

The real world is coming for me VERY soon (as in, less than two months from now). I have had more than my fair share of freakouts/emotional breakdowns in coming to accept this looming concept otherwise known as "adulthood." However, I think I'm finally ready. My brain is completely crammed full of university knowledge, and I need a break. If that break means getting a full-time job, fine. Onward to the realm of grown-ups I go!

There's just one problem.

I'm coming to realize there are some parts of the adult world that I'm completely clueless about. I'm sure this is normal for graduating college seniors who are used to having these types of things taken care of by some wise adult figure, but it is still a problem.

For example: today I found my W2 from last December stashed away in the bottom of my desk drawer. My initial reaction: "Hm. I know these things are supposed to be important, but what does one actually do with a W2? I have no idea." After turning the the sheet of paper over and quickly becoming overwhelmed by a vast amount of boring tax-related terms, I promptly turned the paper back over and got out my phone to speed dial Ricky. This is often my initial reaction for any questions I have that are money/work related. Call Ricky; he'll know.

Then there are the grown-up questions that require my mother. These questions usually come up while filling out a form at the doctor's office ("Does our health insurance cover this?" "When was the last time I had my teeth X-Rayed?") or the grocery store ("What exactly is the difference between tomato paste and tomato sauce?" "Is a clove of garlic the whole thing or one of the little things inside?")

Do YOU know the difference? I still get confused
It seems like adults just have this innate know-how with little questions like these. I'm hoping post-graduation a light bulb will go off and I'll have the know-how, too. If not,  I may have to buy some of those "______ For Dummies Books." Either that or I'll just continue to call my parents every time I have a clueless moment. Alright, more than likely it's going to be the last option.


I'm probably much better equipped than some other college graduates. I mean, the fact that I have a W2 to speak of in the first place gives me a slight leg up, right? Nonetheless, the control freak in me has started to make a list of the things adults know how to do that I want to know how to do. Hopefully in the near future, I will be able to...

1. Garden
I really have absolutely no interest in gardening, but I know that I'm not going to be able to afford my own gardening staff for a looooong time.
2. Change an air filter
Tried to do this with my roommates and failed.  In our defense, it took our landlord 30 minutes to figure it out, too.
3. File taxes
As previously mentioned, this is clearly going to be a struggle.
4. Possess my own personal credit card and an accompanying rockin' credit score
I'm getting on top of this one at present. Someone please approve me for a card! I'm currently non-existent in the credit world!
5. Cook an entire meal that is warm and ready all at once
This is so hard.  Got close with my scrambled eggs and waffles this morning, but not quite.
6. Hand out business cards like the hardcore businesswoman I plan to be
Nothing says "I'm an official, important adult" like business cards.
7. Know and understand the majority of what is going on with current events and politics
At the moment, my knowledge in this department usually only goes as far as CNN and The Wall Street Journal's tweets. The 140 character limit is a bit of an impediment.

So where is my W2 now?  In the mail on its way to el padre. I tried to read him some of the tax mumbo jumbo over the phone, but it didn't go well. So it appears there will be at least another year lapse until I figure out that one. Hey, I haven't graduated yet so I don't feel that it's absolutely necessary to take care of this adult task just yet. It's a process. I'm soaking up my last months of oblivious living, thank you very much.

On a positive note: I am always on top of balancing my check book, I bleached a shirt ON PURPOSE for the first time the other day, and I have concluded that I am already much better at being an adult than Charlie Sheen. Winning.

My gift to you: kids parody of The Sheen

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